Seven Steps to Happiness (Plus 1!)

Is it possible to be truly happy all of the time? Gyles Brandreth took the discussions he had with the late Professor Anthony Clare and created a wonderful book with the title ‘The 7 Secrets Of Happiness: An Optimist’s Journey’. 

I read this book years ago, and was reminded of the brilliant and very simple themes when listening to The Today Programme. I wanted to share them with you and add my own …

1 CULTIVATE A PASSION

The challenge for life is to find something you enjoy doing, that will sustain you, distract you, and delight you, when all else fails.

… it doesn’t matter what it is: cultivate a passion.

2 BE A LEAF ON A TREE

To thrive, you have to be both an individual – with a sense that you are unique and that you matter – and at the same time you need to be connected to a bigger organism: a family, a community, a company, a club. In short, you need to be part of something bigger than yourself.

The research shows that people who are best protected against certain physical diseases – cancer and heart disease, for example – in addition to doing all the other things they should do, are likely to be part of a community of some kind, are likely to be socially involved.

3 BREAK THE MIRROR

It won’t bring you seven years bad luck. It will bring you years of longer life.

Break the mirror: stop looking at yourself. Stop thinking about yourself – have done with narcissism and self-regard – avoid introspection.

Nobody’s interested in you. Get it?

4 DON’T RESIST CHANGE

People are wary of change, particularly when things are going reasonably well because they don’t want to rock the boat, but a little rocking can be good for you.

As Dr Anthony Clare said: ‘Happy people are rarely sitting around. They are usually involved in some ongoing interchange with life.’ Don’t resist change. Go with it.

5 AUDIT YOUR HAPPINESS

How much of each day are you spending doing something that doesn’t make you happy? Check it out and if more than half of what you’re doing makes you unhappy, change it.

Assess exactly how you spend your time and how it makes you feel. Audit your happiness and then increase the happiness quotient in your life.

6 LIVE IN THE MOMENT

Whatever you are doing, be aware of it and stay involved.

Stop thinking about what’s coming next, stop checking the mobile, and relish what’s happening now. Seize the day. For all you know, it’s the only one you’ve got.’

7 BE HAPPY

And, finally, if you want to be happy… Be Happy. Act it, play the part, put on a happy face. Start thinking differently. ‘Choose to be optimistic,’ says the Dalai Lama. ‘It feels better.’

If you are feeling negative, simply say to yourself: ‘I am going to be positive,’ and that, in itself, can trigger a change in how you feel. That’s it. And it works. It really does, I’m happy to say.

8 SUZANNE’S ADDITION – DITCH COMPLAINING AND MOANING.

Yes there are many reasons to feel resentful, angry or a victim. But thinking and complaining spins YOU and the people you connect with down in a spiral.

The advice “If you can’t say anything nice, say nothing” might just prevent you winding yourself up with trolling, negativity and personal attack.

Instead, be constructive in your words and actions. Help someone with kindness, energy, consideration. A thoughtful note, post or text. Be supportive, be a friend, even to a stranger. Offer a smile, say ‘Hello’. You can do this without leaving the house or costing you a penny and you’ll throw out a lifeline for yourself and others with a simple feelgood gesture.