Buddha and Vulvodynia - the Buddha effect
The most striking example of what I term ‘The Buddha Effect’ in a non-Buddhist home was with a lady who worked with me each time she moved for her job.
She had been single for many years. At face value it simply didn’t make sense… She was immensely attractive, witty, tactile and lit up a room when she walked into it.
But behind her radiant smile, my client lived with a distressing chronic medical condition, Vulvodynia.
Most sufferers are too embarrassed to talk about the condition. I have my client’s permission to share her story.
For her, and for the many other amazing ladies who have the condition Vulvodynia made it too painful to have sex. She was unwillingly celibate, and had been since the condition developed several years earlier.
Like many clients, she was skeptical about the impact of imagery and despite my suggestion to part with, or at least relocate, a small brass Buddha she kept on the bedroom windowsill, she just said ‘oh that’s special’ and we moved on – after all, in Interiors Therapy we advise on the potential impact of items around the home and the client makes an informed decision.
With each new home her business grew and her life blossomed. She travelled the world and was always busy… but the Vulvodynia was still there.
When she moved to a new area and decided to settle down, she wanted to ditch her past for good. Over a couple of days we went through everything in the apartment – what’s this, where did it come from, do you use it, is it serving you???
But the one thing she would not discuss was the brass Buddha. After what might be considered a ‘tough love’ conversation, we compromised and put him in the Feng Shui Knowledge and Spirituality area of her home.
Cautiously she started to date, but the Vulvodynia was still there and fear of pain and rejection meant she walked away from genuinely lovely guys before they got too close…
The prospect of another lonely Christmas spurred her to call me, but this time I refused to work with her. She asked me why…
“Have you still got the Buddha?”
“Yes”
“Are you going to tell me where it came from?”
“My ex gave it to me a few months before he left. It’s all I have to remember him by”.
Do you see the red flag waving here?
“OK, and when did the Vulvodynia start?”
“Three months before he left, that’s why it ended”.
But still she was unwilling to connect her celibacy and single status with the ornament.
I asked her how she could ever find new love if she refused to let the energy of her ex boyfriend and enforced celibacy go?
She agreed it made sense, after all, her ex was now happily married with a child – and she didn’t want him back anyway. She took the brass Buddha out of her home, but left it in her car in case she changed her mind.
That very same night she met a lovely guy.
As she got to know him better, she started to panic. He ticked almost every box on her Manifesto for Love, but the Vulvodynia was still there and she was nervous about becoming intimate after so long.
When we met by chance I asked her if she trusted me to act in her best interests.
“Of course”
I took the Buddha from her car and delivered it to a charity store in another town.
Soon the couple were ready to take their relationship to the next level, to her astonishment, the Vulvodynia had gone.
They’ve just celebrated their anniversary.
So you see, one small thing can have such an enormous impact, and that’s why even the most minimal and clutter free homes can still create problems for the people who live there.
If you would like to know more about the powerful impact of Interiors Therapy, book a freebie 15 minute consultation. N
B: I’ve seen the ‘Buddha Effect’ take many different forms including poverty, solitude, celibacy and dependence on charity and I stress this article is strictly relevant to the homes of non-Buddhists who have been caught up in the fashion for Buddha imagery in home-stores and on the internet.
No offence is meant towards practicisng Buddhists, Buddhism or the spiritual practice of the Buddha, for which I have the greatest respect.
